- I've never had much interest in dating and consider myself asexual.
- Being a twin means I always have a companion, so I don't feel like I need to date.
- We are very close, and I think she fills the void that a partner would.
For as long as I can remember, I haven't been interested in dating. I just never saw a need for it, and, quite frankly, I still don't for the most part.
While I've dated in the past, it was more of something I forced myself to do because I thought I had to. On television and in books, it appeared that having a significant other was the be-all and end-all, so, of course, I wanted to fit in and have a life similar to the narrative that had been so heavily ingrained in me since childhood.
It wasn't until recently that I realized maybe my lack of interest in dating stemmed from me being a twin. While I'm asexual, and that makes dating in itself a challenge, my twin has served as my companion all my life.
We do everything together
We do almost everything together: shopping, eating, hanging out, vacationing, etc. I don't think there's been a point in my life where I've been separated from her for longer than two days. As a twin, you really don't know anything different. I didn't choose to become so close with my sister; it happened organically.
When I'm sad, she's there to console me. When I'm lonely, she's there for company. When I want to do something, she is my plus-one. Basically, she's my ultimate partner in crime, similar to what I'd get in a person I'm dating.
Since I'm asexual, this is the kind of relationship I'd want with my significant other anyway, so I think it plays a part in my apathetic attitude toward dating. Plus, since I already know her and am familiar with how she acts and behaves, it takes some of the guesswork out of meeting someone and having to start from scratch. As someone with anxiety, this is definitely something I view as a benefit because the thought of having to open up to new people and getting hurt scares me.
My sister is not asexual
I feel I'm definitely an anomaly in my case because my sister, who isn't asexual, has an interest in dating and going out with people. So being a twin is not affecting her dating life at all.
I think our close relationship is different from what siblings who aren't identical in age tend to have. Yes, "regular" siblings are close, but the bond between twins is indescribable, at least for me.
It's almost as if we're the same person. Obviously, we have our differences, but we have more similarities, which makes our relationship unique. This compatibility is not something I've experienced with anyone else, and I don't think anyone could ever come nearly as close.
Overall, I feel like being a twin and asexual has shaped my perception of dating. While I don't think this is universally applicable to twins, I think it's an interesting point to ponder on my journey toward understanding why I don't have the urge to date.